As I am sitting down to write this, I am watching the video monitor that is in my son's nursery. He is supposed to be napping, but he has decided a better use of his time would be to try to escape by pulling himself up using the bumpers on the side of the crib and scream for help. If he only knew how awesome sleep was, I have forgotten. I have vague memories of it. I can remember sleeping until noon, getting up and making myself something to eat, getting dressed and taking the dog for a walk or to the park, maybe going to Starbucks after that and hanging with friends. I can even remember a time when I would go to the gym.....Did you hear that thighs?? I used to take you to the gym....oh they have long forgotten that time..
When we 1st brought Sam home from the hospital he was a month old and had a BT shunt placed to allow blood to get to his lungs, but his blood was still mixing because of the hole, so he would only saturate between 75-85%. He was on a pulse ox monitor all the time and then only at night, but I remember just staring at that thing and if he would dip we would both jump up and try to reposition his head or neck. It was completely nerve wracking. He has never really slept through the night..even now..he will get up at least once...maybe 2 times, but there on no more monitors to watch no more checking to make sure he has his oxygen in his nose. I have learned to run on fumes and caffeine!!!!! but as I watch him on the monitor, which by now he has decided to turn himself around sideways with his feet sticking straight in the air and he's babbling at the top of his lungs, I think......I'll sleep when I'm dead...
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